It is perhaps the best way for learning to happen–among peers, un-mediated by extraneous influences.
L’sCritique
Because you feel so passionate about your argument you must be sure that you use specific evidence to prove your pint. Without the evidence the letter will lose its credibility. I liked the connections between the President and MLK and Hitler, but you must connect it to your main argument in order to make your point more clear. I could tell you were very interested in the topic which made me want to read the letter.
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re: L’s Critique
Hi leland. About how i connected Obama to Hitler and MLK, its in there, it says that they all three of these men had a knack for saying what the people wanted to hear. Obama knew the people wanted cheaper health care, so he said it would be basicly free, he said we would with draw the troops from Iraq, but he sent more. Men in power say things they dont mean
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L re: L’s Critique
I understand that your comparison is in the letter, but what I wanted you to try is to re-word or even show more examples of how the three are related so that the reader truely understands your point.
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J’s re: Leland’s Critique
Antony you might be right about making your connections but more evidence is a lot more effective and it will make it a lot more credible and likely to get read. Also if you haven’t read Jerica’s yet you really should because she makes a very valid point about how your argument is a little hazy. I do agree with what you are trying to convey but at the same time I think you need to word it differently because all politicians do this and when you say this it seems like you are still just calling Obama average as a president and not totally making your point
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A’s re: L’s Critique
I know, i havent put all of my info in yet. By Friday it will be finished.
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A’s re: L’s Critique
L, can you read it know and let me know if it is any better??
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A’s re: L’s Critique
The comparision.
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J’s re: L’s Critique
I would also suggest not having the hyper links in there when sending it because obviously he can’t click it when you send it in the mail. Also you might as well want to not abreviate MLK so it sounds more professional
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V’s re: L’s Critique
I see you have made great improvements on your letter. Great job. Your letter sounds soooooo much better. Keep up the good work:)
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Now excuse me, I’m all choked up on their wiki-mediated collaborative learning!
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