The Wikiness

What if you could somehow go back and avoid the mistakes in your life. Would you?

If I could turn back the hands of time, insert myself into my past at decisive moments, and choose differently to avoid “mistakes,” I would not do it. That’s because where my life is today, with all its imperfection and frustration, is good. All of my “bad” choices have brought me to this place, with its achy-breaky body, its daily loss and struggle, but also its periods of calm awareness and contentment. Somehow, things have worked out perfectly. It is well with my soul. 

Suppose at age 25 I had a backbone and stood up to mom instead of letting her push me into marriage. I’d certainly have avoided major suffering, and certainly be somewhere else now, perhaps a better place in some ways. But thirty-eight years on, I’d certainly be poorer for not having had our kids and all the growth and struggle involved in raising them. I’d be weaker, and probably less grateful. The aftermath of my suffering turns out to be the satisfaction I get when playing on the rug with my grandsons.  “Non,” as Edith Piaf sang in her 1960 hit, “je ne regrette rien” (I don’t regret a thing).

But what if I could clone myself at will, and thus multiply the experiences that the time-space continuum allows this individual? What if I transcended space-time, cheated natural privation, and got “the most” out of this one precious life? 

I would begin by delegating separate “me”s to the various passions and loving connections that make my life meaningful and joyful.

One of “me” would be sent to live near each of my children, now scattered between New Orleans, San Diego, and Chicago. This ambassador-neighbor would do what I would, but cannot–study my dear offspring and act compassionately for them “on the spot,” not ineffectually hearing about their trials and opportunities weeks or months later, or at all. Thus, I would deepen my love to them all, using my life-force and resources to further nurture their highest growth. How multitudinous would be my joy if I could love them with separate mes!

Another set of “mes” would be sent to various training institutions so that I might fully exploit my aesthetic ability. This “me” would spend 10,000 hours becoming a master chef, that “me” a virtuoso musician, this other, a poet of truth and beauty. With my enhanced skills, I would create projects that made the world more connected, beautiful, and wise.

But wouldn’t my ego also enjoy being seen as “great” in a field of artistic endeavor?

Alas, all I can do with this single body is love the people who are before me, and make slow progress in my arts. 

On second thought, then, since I believe that loving and growing are the hallmarks of a life well-lived–no. My simple existence, confined in this loving, growing body, is good enough. And in the physics of this universe, it seems, it’s as good as it gets.

PS: The image of “me, cloning myself” is by Google Gemini